Shane and Ashlee's Birth Story

 I found my doula, Amanda.  I knew I wanted her to be my doula.  She seemed very relaxed and calming and had such a soothing voice. My husband was very hesitant about all this.  He was supportive, but didn't like the idea of some lady in our delivery room that we didn't know.  We took her hypnobirthing classes, and I practiced telling myself my body was made for this. I used the relaxation cd often. When I went into labor, I was thrilled. I didn’t realize I had 25 hours of contractions ahead of me. They were manageable to deal with, but after about 20+ hours of contracting, and no progressing past a 4, I left the hospital frustrated because I knew I was in labor, but the hospital told me I wasn’t. I called Amanda and she said “I think I know what’s going on. Can I come over?”

She came to my house with some oils to diffuse to help me relax, and had me get into some different and unusual positions. After she was done helping me, she encouraged me to go lie down and try to get some rest, since I didn’t get any sleep the night before. As soon as I got comfortable in my bed, the contracting REALLY picked up. What she did WORKED! She originally told me that those positions would help encourage the baby into the right position, and it certainly did. I thought maybe I was feeling the contracting more intense because I was lying down, but I started moaning and started noticing I felt shaky, feeling like I had a fever(didn’t realize in the moment that I was in transition). My husband came up and told me we are going back to the hospital again. He didn’t think I should be moaning and contracting without any progression. I knew something was up because I really needed to moan through each contraction and it was pretty intense to where I had to stop for each contraction, couldn’t talk through them, and just needed to moan. We rushed to the hospital, and at this point I planned on getting an epidural because I was tired of feeling the contracting. I knew I could do it, but I didn’t get any sleep the night before because I was contracting, and I hadn’t been eating much because I wasn’t hungry. I was exhausted and I thought they were going to tell me I was still at a 4.

 Shane called Amanda and told her we were headed to the hospital. We arrived and they checked me and I was dilated to an 8 with a bulging bag. I was shocked. I knew he was coming now! And I knew I had no time for the epidural, which was a good thing because I really wanted to do it naturally, but in the moment I wanted the epidural. Amanda rushed to the hospital to meet us there and she was on the phone with my husband encouraging him on how to help me. As soon as they put me in my room she came rushing in! She said she had never made that drive as quickly as she did that day! I was moaning for the epidural, but it was just my way of expressing how tired I was. I didn’t really want it and my husband and Amanda knew that. They just encouraged me through each contraction because I originally told them that I would just need lots of encouraging through it all. They did it perfectly. Amanda was massaging me and helping to encourage me into comfortable positions. She was there to help me with whatever I needed. She was like the perfect angel. The wonderful thing about it was that my husband didn’t have to worry about massaging me or being helpless about what to do because she was there doing that for him because that’s what he needed as well. He was there to just hold my hand and talk me through it and encourage me. He didn’t feel the stress of being alone with me and not knowing what to do. Finally, my water burst! It was crazy, like nothing I had ever experienced. I knew he was coming. There was intense pressure. I got on my knees, on the bed, and rested my upper body on the bed(it was at an incline). I finished laboring , most comfortably, in that position. I didn’t even want to think about lying down on the bed. He started to come and Amanda and my husband just encouraged me through it all. They were angels. I couldn’t have asked for better support. Our 8 lb. 15 oz. baby boy came out, they placed him on the bed under me so that I could reach down and bring him to my chest on my own. It took a moment for me to come back into myself and realize he was out. In those last moments of labor you are totally outside yourself.  I don’t even know how to describe it. You are so consumed with your body and what you are feeling that you hardly notice anything that’s going on around you. You can hear what’s going on around you, but it’s like being in a dream. It’s a totally interesting feeling. So, when I finally came back into myself, and held him skin to skin, it was amazing. My pain was instantly gone. I was sitting and changing positions instantly. I wasn’t restricted by IV’s or numb legs. It was a completely new feeling, something I didn’t feel with my previous deliveries. I couldn’t believe I did it! THAT was an amazing feeling! I DID IT!! I was on cloud 9. I didn’t tear, and I attribute that to the position I was in when I birthed him. And I was starving. J I got up an hour later and washed myself off, went to the bathroom and as soon as I came out the hospital had food for me, and that wasn’t enough, so Amanda went and got my husband and I some subway. My husband was soooooooo grateful Amanda was there. SO grateful. He was sooooo hesitant in the beginning, but now would encourage any man to have a doula. It takes a lot of pressure off the man in the labor and delivery room. J And he was so worried she would judge his lack of help in the labor and delivery room, but it was nothing like that. She was a team member. He never once felt uncomfortable or had feelings of inadequacy. It was surprising to see his gratitude for her after all of it, considering how he felt about having a doula at the beginning. It took me a few days to process the whole experience. It was one of the most amazing experiences I have ever had in my life. It was incredibly spiritual, and empowering. I would do it again with my next one, but there won’t be another, which is why I am so grateful we did it this way with our last one. It was a bonding experience for my husband and I.  Everyone will take something different away from the hypnobirthing classes. The main thing I took from it was the information that my body was made for this, and that I could DO IT.  I also gained helpful knowledge about hospitals and what I have the right to do in hospitals that hospitals wont usually tell you about. I gained that knowledge and used it. AND the breathing techniques helped me. That was my focus through the contracting.  Plus, it was a great bonding experience for my husband and I, and it was a wonderful support system being able to chat with people who are doing what you are doing because not everyone you talk to will be supportive of your decision, but that’s only because they don’t have the knowledge to understand it. I would encourage any woman to try a natural birth and to hire a doula. It’s totally doable. You were made for it.

Stacey & Ross’s Birth journey

We prayed all the time that somehow God would work things out so that he would be there for your birth. When I returned from the states, poppa and I only had a couple of short months together before he had to leave. It was a hard time for us. Such a mix of emotions being so excited for you to arrive and so sad that he might not be with us. All we could do was to trust God and pray. Once poppa got to California we were able to confirm exactly when he would get to come back to Okinawa, which was when I would be 41 weeks pregnant with you. I asked you every day to please wait to be born until 41 weeks and 3 days...just to be on the safe side and give your poppa some time to get back and rest before labor began. This would put your birthday on September 3rd. I focused and prayed on this date, hoping things would all work out. I spent many days while he was gone lying around and doing as little as possible just short of standing on my head to try to encourage you to stay warm and cozy in my womb.

Well, you and God must have heard our prayers. Finally the day had come for him to return. I had been having Braxton Hicks contractions sporadically since I was about 20 weeks pregnant. But as soon as your poppa walked through the door that Sunday night {41 weeks exactly} and gave me a hug and a kiss my uterus responded with a nice big squeeze. I think you heard his voice and knew he was finally home. The next morning my BH contractions were coming on much more regularly and earlier in the day than they usually had before. Poppa and I decided to go run some errands and went for sushi for lunch. It was there in the “Sushi-go-round” that things really started to happen. I started having waves that were more intense now and would wrap around me instead of just my belly tightening up like before. Your poppa noticed the difference in me, so we finished our meal and started to head home. Once we were back home I called our doula, Amanda, to let her know that things were changing and I thought labor was starting up. I told her to hold tight and that I was going to time my pressure waves and try to nap and we agreed that I would let her know how I was doing in about an hour. We were really excited but overall things were pretty calm. Your poppa was cleaning up around the house and starting to prep for dinner. We were going to have one of our favorite meals that night, chicken slovakia. After an hour or so of not really napping and having waves that were about 4 to 6 minutes apart, I let Amanda know it was time and she headed over to the house around 6 pm. Meanwhile my waves were getting stronger so I decided to get into the shower and let the water run across my lower back to see if that helped. It felt AMAZING!! I swayed under the water for a long time while relaxing through the waves as they came. Once Amanda arrived, we all discussed how things were going and continued to work through my waves together. Poppa ate dinner, which sadly I did not have the appetite for by then, while I spent time laboring with you all over the house...in the bed, on the yoga ball, on the toilet and in a nice deep bath. Your poppa and Amanda were both so calm and helpful...even Shiner and Elvis {our dogs} were watching with excitement...while you and I began to go deeper into our labor...

It was getting later, probably around 10pm, and things had gotten more intense. Initially I had planned to stay at home for the majority of our labor and then to transfer to Yui, our birth center, just in time for you to be born. However, once things really got going at home, I changed my mind and decided I was ready to go ahead and get to Yui. I think a lot of this decision was based on the unknowns...like what it would feel like riding in the car during waves and not knowing how fast things were going to move along. I realized these uncertainties came with being a first time momma, but decided to head out

nonetheless {not to mention I had thrown up which made me think I might be further along into things}. I rode in the backseat of the car with a sleep mask over my eyes so I could stay focused in “labor land”while your poppa drove and Amanda followed us in her car. I believe I had 2-3 good waves in the car on the way to the birth center. Your poppa who normally drives like a wild man, was being extra gentle in his accelerating and braking the whole time, bless him, and the car ride turned out to be not so bad after all.

Once at the birth center, Miwa, one of the wonderful midwives, greeted us. I felt so relieved to finally be settling in to where you would be born. Miwa checked my cervix and said that we were a good 3 cm dilated...which I thought was pretty great because I figured I was only maybe a 1. Once we settled in, I immediately wanted to be in the bathtub. It was funny because upon previous visits to Yui, I had commented on how tiny and “claustrophobic feeling” the bathroom in the labor room seemed. But now...that bathroom had become the birthing cave that I never wanted to leave! Though counter- pressure brought me a lot of relief in the beginning of our labor, I was starting to only find comfort through water and light touch massage. That night while I was submerged in the tub I felt a “pop”sensation and told everyone that I was pretty sure my water had just broken. The midwives at Yui were not accustomed to water births so they asked that we please drain the water from the tub and suggested that we use the shower head to spray my back, instead of being submerged.

This was the part in or labor when I began losing track of time, where it was just you and me, working together, bringing you down and closer to birth, little by little. It was starting to get really warm and steamy in the bathroom so your poppa opened up the window above the tub to let some of the cool air blow inside {it was storming hard outside that night and unusually cool for what it had been in Okinawa around that time of year}. You and I spent the rest of the night laboring in the tub while someone sprayed water across my back the entire time. At any given moment I would look back and it would either be your poppa, Amanda or Kyoko {our interpreter} spraying me. I remember once it was your poppa’s shift and he was so tired and jet lagged from his trip home, that he had fallen asleep while still holding the sprayer directed at my back. Poor guy. It was so hot in the bathroom and we were working really hard. I remember taking momentary reprieve by resting my face on the windowsill and breathing in the cool storm air.

Eventually I was getting very tired and I decided to check myself to see if I could feel your head yet. I reached inside and could feel what seemed like a squishy bulge, but I wasn’t sure if it was your head or if maybe my water had not broken after all, so the midwife asked if she could please check me to find out. I told her yes, but I asked to not be told how far dilated I was, so I would not get distracted by the number {I knew it would be no indication to me as to how fast or slow things would go from there and I did not want knowing a number to mess with my focus.....I found out later that I was at about 7cm}. The midwife checked me and said that my water bag had broken, but the squishy bulge I felt was my cervix starting to swell from being upright all night laboring hard in the tub. At this point she and Amanda suggested that we come out of the bathroom and try to take some needed rest on the futon. I agreed and made my way out to sit in front of your poppa, resting back on him. We were both so exhausted! I remember seeing the sun come up as we sat there trying to slow things down and rest. One of our midwives, Haruka, offered to do some Healing Touch Massage where she glides her hands over me

without actually touching me. It is energy work and it really helped me to slow down my labor and breathing and get some rest. All morning long we did this. The waves would come, I would focus on just staying calm and breathing through them, and then I would put my head back on your poppa’s shoulder and fall asleep. At one point during all of this I remember Dr. Fumi coming into the room and telling me that she was a bit concerned since it had been over 12 hours since my water had broken, so she wanted to give me IV antibiotics as a preventative measure for infection. This was something I did not want for myself and definitely did not want for you. I asked Dr. Fumi if I was showing any signs of infection such as a fever in order to warrant the use of the antibiotics and she said no; so I declined them and we decided it was something we would discuss again later if needed {In my previous research I learned how administering antibiotics during labor could cause later problems for you by upsetting your perfect gut flora and I am a strong proponent of the sparing use of antibiotics in general anyways. We never talked about it again, by the way}. I really appreciated how Dr. Fumi respected my decision and did not try to force anything on me.

Around mid-day I was feeling a lot more rested and moved into the next phase of our labor. Amanda tried to work with me to get into some different positions on the yoga ball to see if I could get my labor to pick back up again {my waves had slowed down to about 5-10 minutes apart while I rested}. I’m sad to admit {as a doula} that I was not a very easy “doula client” to work with. Everything she would suggest...I would start to try, and when it made my waves too intense, I would tell her "no" I could not do it. I just knew my limits. The best way I can think to describe this part of the labor was like I was walking along the side of a cliff and at any moment I could fall over the edge and completely lose myself to the intensity. I told my birth team that I needed to go to the toilet to pee. I was laboring on the toilet for a long time, so long that my legs started to go numb and my feet were turning blue...but I could not get off that toilet! Your head was very low and I was feeling a ton of pressure. At this point, things really picked up. I started to feel like I was no longer directing things like before. I was having really strong“cluster contractions” and my body was starting to push with them all on its own. They would come in sets of four and were very intense. So I just surrendered to it. I took each wave as it came and did my best to hang on and breathe through them, to not fight what was happening. It was the strongest most intense energy moving through me that I have ever experienced in my life. Like I was in the eye of a storm and everything else was moving around me. Your poppa was sitting on one side of me and Haruka was on the other. They were both rubbing my feet and legs, trying to help move the circulation that was being cut off by the hard toilet seat, back into them. At this moment, Haruka became the only calm in my storm. I was starting to panic somewhat in my mind, to doubt myself because of how overwhelming the waves felt. But each time I would open my eyes and there she would be with her calm reassuring smile and nod letting me know everything was going fine. Funny thing is, she was the only one in the room who did not speak English. However, her lack of words, amid everyone else’s encouraging “you are doing great, Stacey”....”good job”....”slow your breathing down”, was exactly what I needed and calmed me the most in my storm of energy.

Eventually Haruka looked at all of us and said, “head”...meaning she could start to feel the top of your head. I was so relieved and also feeling such intense pressure all at the same time. It was then they asked that I please try to make my way out to the futon again because you would be coming out soon

and they could not help to catch you if I was still on the toilet. I really did not want to move {again being a difficult doula client...haha}, but I remember looking down over my bulging belly and only seeing a tiny bit of space into the toilet bowl and thinking, “they were right...how would they catch you in there?”{haha} So that convinced me to comply, get up and go to the futon. Your poppa sat in the middle of the futon and I got down on all fours in front of him. This was when I “took the reins back” and did the hardest work of my entire labor. I roared and pushed with each wave and sometimes even without them trying to make your slowly crowning head come out. I remember having lots of doubts, thinking that you were stuck and that they were going to have to pull you out with forceps. I told everyone that“you weren’t helping me” birth you because it felt like no matter how hard I pushed...you weren’t moving. I think this was my “mountain moment”. The moment in my labor where I felt like I was looking up at a mountain that I was not sure how I would ever reach the top of. I labored in every way I knew how; on hands and knees, on my right side, on my left side. For three hours {including some of the toilet time} I pushed. This was the hardest I had ever worked in my entire life. Kyoko held up a mirror so I could see your head coming out with the pushes. We were making progress slowly but surely. The whole time, Haruka gently used almond oil to help me stretch open and gently scratched your head to keep you stimulated during the waves. Wakako was the other midwife in the room and she used the Doppler to check your heart rate during my waves to make sure you were handling everything ok. You were doing great! Finally Amanda said to me, “Stacey, how about you try turning over and leaning up against Ross to see if that position will work to get his head out”. I just remember thinking, “NO...that’s on my back and that’s the one position I did not want to have you in!” {being flat on your back decreases the opening of the pelvis and makes it more difficult to birth}. But I guess Amanda was reading my mind {or maybe I said it out loud...I don’t remember} because she said, “its not flat on your back, don’t worry”and so I flipped over into a seated position in front of your poppa. With each new wave I curled myself around you and pushed with all I had. Even your poppa was curling around me and pushing too as I remember at one point he tried to do and extra crunch and I had to tell him “no, the wave is over!”{haha}. Finally, the energy in the room shifted to excitement as your head fully emerged. Everyone was ecstatic! Your cord was draped once around your neck, but loosely, more like a scarf would be. There was a moment where I was somewhat in shock as I first laid eyes on your beautiful face and then suddenly I noticed the midwives both trying to pry your cord over your head so I reached down and started pulling at it too. Once we got it over your head the rest of your warm, wet, poop-from-head-to- toe-covered body slid right out and I pulled you straight up onto my chest.

It was 4:07 pm on Tuesday, September 3, 2013...just as I had prayed::

This next part is a little crazy. When you came out you were choking a bit on all of the birth fluids. My primal instincts must have kicked in because my immediate reaction was to bring your face up to my mouth and suck out the fluid that was obstructing your airway. I think I did this 2 or 3 times, sucking and spitting out the fluids. Amanda later told me that everyone was a little shocked at this and this made the Dr.’s jaw drop as I guess she had not seen a momma react this way to her choking baby before, {Haha}. I remember hearing the midwives say, “Stacey-san...it’s ok...we have sucker,” but I didn’t care...I didn’t think...I just reacted. {I’ve since learned that this is actually common practice amongst some cultures in the world...so not so strange after all!} Most people will be very grossed out by that part of your story, but to me it just speaks to the raw, instinctive, uninhibited nature of your birth. I love and feel so blessed to have had a birth experience like this.

It was over an hour and a half later that we finally had your poppa cut the cord. He had some skin to skin time with you while I attempted to go sit on the toilet to drain my bladder which at this point was holding back my placenta from coming out. Though I tried, I guess with all the people watching and waiting, I couldn’t go {funny to have stage fright after all that}! I finally agreed to let the midwives do their one and only intervention and insert a catheter to help me out. I proceeded to fill a pitcher half way up...it was a lot of pee. Shortly after, I delivered your placenta. This was about two hours after you were born. Our sweet friend Amy was there and she took your placenta with her to encapsulate for us so I could consume its’ nutrients to replenish and heal my body during our postpartum time. It was after all of this that we finally weighed and measured you. You were 7 pounds 11 ounces and 20.5 inches long. You were perfect.

That night you, your poppa and I settled into our postpartum room which would be our resting place for the next few days, and enjoyed a yummy Japanese meal prepared lovingly by the Yui staff {even though it was very late in the evening by then}. The entire staff took such good care of us for our entire stay at Yui. They helped me learn how to feed you and gave me breast massages and taught me how to massage and soften my nipples so it would be easier for you to latch on. They made me cold lavender cloths to ease my “under carriage” discomfort, which brought me such great relief. We stayed at the birth center for 3 more days and couldn’t have asked for better care and compassion than what the Yui staff had given us. They treated us like family and the midwives all loved you as much as we did.

Throughout our labor journey, I did what we as doulas always tell mommas to do {but I don’t think I ever really fully understood until then}...and that was to LISTEN TO MY BODY. During my labor I knew exactly what I needed. I knew what I could handle and what I could not. What would send me over the edge of that cliff and what would keep me just in the balance. I knew when to rest and when to push and you were working with me the entire time. We were a team. We were perfectly created and designed by God to do what we were doing and thanks to the wonderful birth center and our wonderful birth team...we were able to bring you into the world without any intervention and into a room full of love. How blessed. I could not have asked for a more empowering and awesome birth experience!!! It was hard and intense. It pushed me to use strengths inside myself I did not know I had in me. To trust God more than I had ever before in my life...to trust His perfect design. Having you as our son has been an absolute dream come true. I’ve dreamt of the day I would meet you, almost my entire life and the reality far out does the dream. You are such a sweet little person and we love you with all of our hearts. Thank you being our son. We are honored to be your momma and poppa. There is this saying that goes,“seeing a baby being born is like seeing God in person.” How true! It was the most amazing and spiritual moment of my life! I have never felt so alive and so much love. I had finally reached that mountaintop...and it was pure bliss!

Hensley's Birth Story

On Dec 2, 2018 at 4:30am I started having surges that were unfamiliar to me from the ones I was having over the last couple of weeks. I got up from the bed and decided to go to the bathroom to see if that change the pattern of the surges. I notice when standing that the surges seem to come more frequently and closer together. At that time I went to my knees, leaned over the chair, and started my HypnoBirthing visualization.

I changed positions a couple times and then decided to labor on the toilet, at this point I did not wake Archie (husband) to time the surges as I wanted to ensure this was real. I leaned back to be comfortable, began to visualize my birth and let my body know this is what it was created to do.

Still in denial about being in active labor I got up after being there for about 2hrs and walked around to see if the surges would come back to back as they were before. Sure enough they seem to be coming back to back so I went back to the toilet to labor for another 30 mins before waking Archie. Around 7:30 am I woke Archie to start timing surges and they were about 60 seconds long and 3 1/2 - 4 minutes apart.

We waited about 30 more mins before making a decision to go in.

We left around 8:22 am to head to the hospital which is about a 25 mins ride and the surges were pretty frequent and became more intense with the car ride.

We arrived at the hospital around 8:50 or 9:00 am and Archie attempted to drop me at the door of the hospital so he could park. I got out the vehicle and I felt pressure immediately along with a surge. I told Archie I would not make it upstairs to labor and delivery and I needed to get back in the car. I got back on my knees and I felt and overwhelming urge to push. I told him to go in and call someone down because she felt like she was coming. I undressed from the waist down and another surge came with the urge to push as the doctor and labor and delivery team showed up.

He checked me from the vehicle and said he felt her head and as the surge finished they would move me to a wheelchair. I got out the vehicle and stood up to get into wheel chair and felt a surge coming and could no longer resist the urge to push.

Her head emerged and then shoulders at 9:22 am. She was laid on my chest and was calm as they attempted to rub her to encourage her to cry. We then headed into the hospital to deliver the placenta.

This birth was everything I ever wanted and although I would’ve preferred not to give birth outside in the open but it still felt natural and I gave birth the way I desired to give birth.

Thank you Amanda for all your assistance and dedication to showing us how to listen to our bodies.

Archie & Dana 

The Birth of Loralai Elaine

The week before I had Loralai, I started trying to do a few things that might induce labor. My sister had arrived from North Carolina and I wanted to make sure she would be able to be my doula birth before she had to head back! I went and got an adjustment from my chiropractor to make sure baby would be able to settle into the best position for birth. She flipped back and forth ALOT the last week and couldn't seem to decide on whether she wanted to be LOA or ROA. I did a lot of exercises from the Spinning Babies website as well. I also went back to chiropractor and had some acupuncture done to see if that would induce labor, but all it did was make for some slightly more intense Braxton hicks contractions. I walked and walked and walked and ate my eggplant parmesan casserole, but to no avail. I was hoping for baby to come either a day before or a day after the 4th of July but that wasn't in the cards for me.

That whole week, I would wake up around 3 or 4 am with some intense consistent contractions, but they would always fizzle out around 7am. Leaving me disappointed and tired. I can only assume I was experiencing prodromal labor and that was incredibly frustrating! Friday morning those contractions started again. I tried to not get excited when they lasted past 7am.

I woke up and got breakfast for Hayes and I, then we went on a walk. When we got back, they were still happening, but only about 1 every 45 minutes. I tried to rest, bounce on my exercise ball, and distract myself with watching TV. My husband, Nate, got home from work and I was able to take a nap, but not for long as the contractions were starting to pick up. They weren't very strong but they were noticeable enough to keep me from being able to rest well. We ate supper, got Hayes ready for bed and rocked him to sleep. I continued to have contractions. They just weren't consistent whenever I timed them, so I tried to ignore them and rest. It was around 10pm when they were getting stronger and I think I called my sister to let her know they were picking up, but I figured it would be a while before we’d need to notify the midwives.

With my first child, Hayes, everything moved so slowly and I assumed it would be the same. I was waiting for that point when they'd last for a minute, be 3-4 minutes apart for an hour. I would lay on the couch and time them. They'd just be all over the place! No real consistency and vary in intensity.

Nate fell asleep. I'd get up to go to the bathroom. They'd be really hard to breath through and it would be like one long contraction until I laid back down. Then they'd space out again. I woke up Nate and he kind of helped me through them, but apparently I was handling it well enough that no one felt like it was getting close.

I honestly didn't think it was close! I had called my sister again and wasn't sure if she should come over yet. She sounded unsure if she should yet either, but we decided to have her go ahead and come since I was feeling like needing more help with focusing.

I texted Brandi, my midwife, and told her that I had been having contractions since 11pm. Also that they were starting to pick up and lasting about 1 minute, happening every 7-10 minutes and that we'd be calling her in a while. This was at 1:34am. I was starting to get nauseous and got up to go to the kitchen and get some frozen grapes to eat. I had one LONG and INTENSE contraction the whole time I was up and quickly went to go lay back down. I was feeling pretty sick and started to wonder if I wasn't going into the transition phase as I remembered feeling that way with Hayes. But I thought that surely it couldn't be the case as my contractions were still so inconsistent and not quite 2-3 minutes apart. I was definitely starting to lose control of my emotions. Nate was airing up the birth pool and I was feeling pretty concerned about everything that was happening. Just as I was having another contraction, my sister stepped in the door. I felt my water break, which I immediately told her, and I felt the baby’s head drop. I pretty well knew I'd be having a baby soon. My sister sat on the floor by my head, kept me calm and helped me breath. It was such a relief to have her there as her presence was very calming. I finally felt in control again. I told her I felt like pushing and I believe at that time, Nate got on the phone with Brandi, who was headed our way, and told her that. I was trying VERY hard to not push with contractions. But it was getting impossible. My sister told me she might have to look to see if she could see the baby’s head.

It was then that I had another contraction.

My body took over and I pushed.

I stood up and immediately felt the head drop down and out!

Nate and Amanda were on the phone with Brandi while she was talking them through the delivery process. I just remember praying that everything would be okay. That God would protect me and my baby. That baby would be healthy.

My sister stayed very calm and kept me calm. I don't remember feeling scared or anxious. I just knew I had to finish the task. With one last push, Nate caught our baby girl at around 2:45am.

I had no real pain with pushing. I never really felt like we were in danger. I can only assume that the Holy Spirit was very present with us throughout the whole process and He was keeping everyone calm and collected. And obviously kept our baby from any complications that can come from childbirth.

I sat on the floor and held Loralai who was crying and pooping everywhere. I was just in absolute awe of how quickly and easily she came.

Now as all this was happening, Brandi got into a car accident while trying to tell Nate and Amanda how to deliver the placenta. Nate had to call our other midwife, Kathy, who is Brandi’s mother, to tell her what happened but also that we still needed help with the placenta and other things!

Things were getting a little stressful because it seemed like it was taking a little too long for me to deliver the placenta. The midwife had told me to stand up. As I did, the placenta was delivered and fortunately there wasn't too much bleeding afterwards. I was helped into bed where we waited for our midwives to arrive.

We all just sat there. Pretty dumbfounded at the events that had just taken place! My photographer, Jenny Good, had arrived (she showed up shortly after Loralai was delivered) and took pictures. I was a little disappointed she had missed the birth but it was no fault of her own as she didn't get a phone call to come out until I was pretty well pushing!

The midwives finally showed up, checked me and Loralai out and we both were just perfectly healthy. No tearing for me and she was a healthy 8lbs 3oz.

Brandi seemed to be doing fine. As it turned out though, he hurt her foot pretty bad and also had a concussion! I felt so awful for her and her new vehicle also got totaled. I felt almost like I was to blame for her accident. If only I had called her to come out sooner. All of this could have been avoided. But I know that everything happens for a reason and looking back I don't know how the situation could have really been remedied as I really never felt like it was urgent that we call sooner.

Hayes woke up shortly after they got there; I'm still surprised he didn't wake up sooner with all the commotion happening. Nate brought him in to meet Loralai and he seemed pretty unimpressed and mostly just wanted mommy to hold him. I'm sure he was pretty confused with everything happening and probably pretty tired since it was around 4am, but it didn't take long for him to warm up to her later that day. I didn't have any issues getting Loralai to nurse, and the whole healing process was so much better this time around. Hayes’ birth and recovery was just all around difficult, so I felt very blessed to have an easier second time around. Looking back, the birth of Loralai still amazes me. It's crazy what our bodies can do when we just let them take over and not try to intervene. I thank God for His provision over us and over the birth, but hope the next time around we can have our midwives present!

Photo credits: Simply Good Photography by Jenny Good

Talon's Birth

Talon’s Birth Story

Photo Credit: Erin Ethridge

Leo Talon was born on April 2, 2016 in Okinawa, Japan in a calm, natural environment without fear. This is his birth story.

“It is not only that we want to bring about an easy labor, without risking injury to the mother or the child; we must go further. We must understand that childbirth is fundamentally a spiritual, as well as physical, achievement.” Grantly Dick-Read, 1953

Sequence of events during labor and delivery:

March 29th

42 Weeks pregnant

I posted on my Facebook page: “I saw Baby Talon look at the camera and wave his little fingers hello during an ultrasound today. Everything looks good. Doctor Fumi said that there is no need for any induction yet. Plenty of amniotic fluid and the placenta looks good. Baby has good activity and heartbeat. He is big (between 8.5 and 9lbs give or take 10%). He grew a lot this week. 42 weeks is just a number.”

April 1st, 2016 April Fool’s Day

42 weeks and 2 days pregnant.

10PM: I took a shower to get ready for hopefully a full night of sleep. I had not felt well all day and could tell that labor was coming soon though I didn’t have any symptoms of labor yet. After a shower, my “mucus plug” started to show. In my previous two births, this happened 24 to 48 hours before labor started. I messaged my doula and interpreter to let them know that something may start happening int eh next couple of days. I had no idea how quickly things would actually move along this time.

10:30PM: Contractions started quickly at 5 minutes apart. That was really fast to start with in my experience so it seemed too good to be true.

11PM: I knew that if I laid down and the contractions stopped, it was just “false labor.” I laid down and the contractions slowed to 8 minutes apart but they were more intense. It was uncomfortable to lay still. As soon as I stood up, the contractions started to get closer together again. They also became intense enough for me to not want to walk or talk. This meant that I was in labor. It was time to get my birth support team together.

April 2nd, 2016

42 weeks and 3 days pregnant.

Midnight: I messaged my team that we were heading to the birth center off base, Yui. They said they would meet me there.

I was disappointed that I wasn’t going to get sleep before what could be a long labor, but there was no slowing down at this point. I had felt like he would come at night though because I had always had the most “Braxton Hicks” (practice contractions) in the evenings. Some things your body can just sense when you are pregnant.

12:15AM: Everything was quiet and dark when I arrived at Yui. My doula, Amanda, arrived at the same time as we did and started supporting me right away since I had to stop with each contraction and breath. When we entered the front door, a sweet Japanese midwife introduced herself and asked if I needed the elevator or stairs. I took the stairs. I had been visualizing my walk up the stairs in preparation for this time of labor. I didn’t want to be scared or frantic in this new place as I moved to where I would labor. We took it slowly and quietly, stopping midway for a contraction. The labor and delivery room was prepped for me and everyone moved quickly but quietly around me. The room was warm and the lighting was dim. Everything was calm.

12:30AM: I was offered a vaginal exam to se how dilated I was; I declined. I didn’t want to increase the risk of infection just to know, at the moment, how I was progressing. Midwives held a small device to my belly to monitor my baby for a little longer than 20 minutes. I was able to still move without noticing the monitor so I tried different positions to find out what my body needed me to do for the labor: on my hands and knees, sitting in the bathroom and holding a rope hanging from the ceiling, etc). I was surprised that all I wanted to do was lay on my left side. My doula and translator lightly touched my back and messaged my feet for comfort. I focused on drinking and breathing between each contraction. During each contraction, I would breath slowly and deeply, visualize my baby slowly moving down and talk to God (giving Him each difficult part and thanking Him for a healthy experience). I was only responsible for each moment as they arrived. My job at the moment was just to breath and relax so that my body could do the work it knew how to do naturally.

1AM: Labor progressed. Since my water hadn’t broken yet, the midwives filled the bathtub with water for me to labor in. It took a while to fill the large tub. Meanwhile, I was laying on my side on the floor mat managing contractions quietly. I was focused and utilizing the techniques I had learned through hypnobirthing, a method with which a mother uses visualization and breathing techniques to alleviate fear and allow her body to relax.

2:15AM: I finally felt the urge to push, said it out loud, and then followed my body’s lead. I knew then that my water broke because I felt a trickle down my leg.

2:30AM: Two pushes later, something unexpected happened. I pushed with my leg lifted up and was surprised when a fast burst of water came out of me and shot across the room. The midwives were able to confirm that it was amniotic fluid. That meant that I wasn’t going to be laboring in the tub (again, to reduce the risk of infection). Things were progressing nicely.

3:00AM: Somewhere around this time, the doctor asked that I squat and lean against my husband for support. She wanted to make sure that my baby was in the best position for me to reach down, grab him and bring him immediately to my chest. At that point I could feel that I was in the “dissent phase”- two steps forward, one step back, stretching tissues and opening space for the baby to move. The pushing urges felt like a like bowel movement- not rushed or guided by someone watching a monitor, just natural.

I knew that he was almost there when I felt the “ring of fire.” That was the only part that I would consider “painful” as opposed to just “pressure.” It lasted through one long contraction and then he came out. 

3:19: Talon is born. 8 pounds 10 ounces.

“There is a secret in our culture, And it’s not that childbirth is painful, it’s that women are strong.”  Laurie Stavoe Harm

You never know exactly what your birth story is going to be until you look back and think about how it changed you. What did you learn? What do you feel when you think about the birth and talk about your unique experience? I used to think that labor was a curse that a mother just had to endure- thanks to Eve in the Garden of Eden. I was wrong. It is true that birth is a lot of hard work, as is tending to a field towards harvest. But labor was not meant to be feared- just prepared for.

Every mother should have a vision for what she wants to work towards during her upcoming birth. I was terrified before, during and after my first birth so my goal then was to ignore it and then get it over with as soon as possible. However, my goal for my second birth was to not have any fear. Through Hypnobirthing and birth education, I truly accomplished a birth without fear. You can read the details on that birth here. http://ethridgeadventures.blog.com/2013/10/01/jett’s-birth-story/  For Talon’s birth (my third), I took it a step forward and worked towards actually enjoying my birth experience. In order to achieve this, I felt that I needed to focus on three things: the environment, the birth team and the recovery.

Environment

I had a unique opportunity to experience natural birth at a local Japanese Birthing Center called Yui Clinic. Yui (which means “to connect”) provides a home-like environment for women to be supported physically and mentally from pregnancy to menapause using Chinese (herbal) medicine, homeopathy and dietary cures. I wanted an environment during labor and delivery that allowed me to progress with dim lighting, quiet ambiance and no expectations. I wanted to not even notice what was going on around me because of the natural feel- not medical beeps with fluorescent lights and noise of a typical hospital.

Birth Team

The team (and it really is a team effort) is one of the most important aspects of a birth, in my opinion. Everyone from the doctors to the family need to understand the importance of respecting a natural birth in order to achieve one in a comfortable environment. The environment becomes toxic if the medical team is encouraging the mom to accept unnecessary medical intervention or if the family is fearful of something terrible happening during the birth. When everyone has expectations of a successful delivery in a calm environment, things are much more peaceful.

I learned about the benefits of hiring a doula during my second birth so I was thankful that my doula, Amanda, was still in Okinawa and was available for Talon’s birth.

I also needed a translator for some of my time at the Japanese clinic. My translator, Kyoko, also was a certified doula and was experienced translating for births and prenatal appointments.

It was essential that my husband and I were on the same page about what we expected from this birth experience too. We talked about what his part would be supporting me during labor and delivery and how the clinic would handle any emergency medical situations (no need to worry).

The final piece to my birth support team was my mother. She took the long flight from Florida to Okinawa to take care of my other two children during the end of my long pregnancy, labor and recovery.

Every person was very important to the success of an enjoyable birth experience.

Recovery

Yui is especially known for its unique post-delivery recovery support. The clinic has only 5 beds with about10 rotating midwives supporting mothers as they recover, breastfeed and bond with their babies for up to 5 days after delivery. This was the environment I was looking for during recovery with my third birth. I wanted to take time to celebrate and bond with my baby before I returned to the rest of my family. More than anything, I needed time to heal and get my strength back so that I could be more available to my other two children at home. You can read more about that experience here. <<link to post about Yui Clinic recovery experience>>

Because I had lost four times as much blood as I should have during delivery, the midwives kept me on an IV for 12 hours with pitocin for most of that time. I felt normal while I was laying down or sitting, so that is what they recommended as much as possible. It took several days to get back to feeling well enough to walk around so I was thankful to have their 24 hour a day support while I took care of my newborn at the birth center.

I caught a sinus cold on my second day of recovery from my visiting 2 year old. I could barely open my eyes from the sinus pressure. The midwives brought Chinese herbal tea (Smelled like cider but tasted like a bitter root, it was officially called Chinese Herb #19) and homeopathic drinks (Looked like Moonshine, tasted like water. I drank 3 of these during the day). I felt better in a day, miraculously.

The food was traditional Okinawan food full of nutrition that encouraged successful breastfeeding and digestion. You can see more pictures of the unique meals I experienced here <<blog post about traditional Japanese food.

When it was time for Talon and me to go home five days after birth, my doctor stopped by my room to sing us a Japanese song traditionally sung to new mamas and babies. It meant "Life is good. Life is satisfactory." That was exactly how I felt about life and my birth experience in the beautiful Okinawan culture. The farewell song was an appropriate grand finale. 

The Birth story of Olivia

he Birth story of Olivia

For a couple of weeks before giving birth I had practice contractions throughout the day, every day. Side note, as part of my hypnobirthing training I will be calling several birthing terms by different names such as ‘contractions’ are ‘surges and ‘bloody show’ is ‘birthing show’. These terms were all used to keep my mind positive.

Okay, back to the story! The practice surges never increased in strength or forming a discernable pattern. OnFriday,June3,2016,the39weekplustwodays,Iwokeupwithasurgethatfeltalittle stronger than the ones before. Later that morning I had my birth show and thought that perhaps today Baby would be born! I was excited and also a bit nervous.

I brought my eldest child, Tatiana (4), to Preschool at 8:30AM. Then I headed to my prenatal check up appointment at Yui Clinic with my 2child, Bianca (almost 2). Yui clinic is an off­post Japanese Birthing Center. During my two hour checkup I had a couple of surges. Doctor Fumi determined, through the heart­rate monitor, that Baby was doing fine.

Back home I did my daily chores while having spread out surges. I updated everyone in my support group (my husband Alex, my doula Amanda, and my Japanese translator Lynn) of my current condition. Lynn kept the Yui Clinic Staff up­to­date on my condition as well.

In the early afternoon, close to 2PM, my surges started to pick up. They came in every 8 minutes and there were slowly getting stronger. I called Alex at work, telling him that he needed to come home and that we needed to head to Yui Clinic. After Alex’s arrival, around 3PM, my surges started to spread out to 25 minutes apart. So we decided to wait at home. I took a warm shower and made preparations while Alex packed the minivan with all the birthing essentials and watched our girls. Around 4PM, it started to rain outside and we decided to try out our new umbrellas on a short stroll around the neighborhood as a family.

Strolling in the rain was relaxing and I was happy to walk at Bianca’s slow pace while while having surges. During our stroll we conveniently met with our neighbors Ashley and John who offered to watch our two girls while we were at the clinic. Halfway through the stroll, my surges were back to 8 minutes apart. We headed back home, had dinner and started the process of putting our kids to bed.

I called Amanda for advice as to whether we should start heading out or continue to wait. She responded with, “Usually it’s safe to wait until you are no longer able to have a nice conversation anymore”. She suggested waiting another hour to see how things develop. I felt good about that plan and choose to do just that.

Alex and I gave Tatiana and Bianca a bath and put them to sleep. At 7PM, I called Ashley to watch our kids. She came over, twenty minutes later, and then we headed out to Yui Clinic at 7:30 pm. It was pouring rain outside and there was a lot of traffic on the way to the clinic. Alex drove and I called Amanda to give her a heads up to head to the clinic as well. Alex was talking about work during the drive but I didn’t have the mindset so I advised him that I could only deal with small talk and nothing more.

We arrived at Yui Clinic around 8:10PM. Lynn came to greet me, she asked how I was doing and I told her that I was fine and didn’t think I was in active labor yet (4cm dilation). However, I didn’t want to

stay at home or be in the car when the surges became too strong so I came to the clinic anyways. Lynn and I waited for Alex to come inside the clinic with my bags then we all went upstairs to the birthing room.

In the birthing room, I was greeted warmly by my midwife, Nakanishi. She had over 30 years of experience and came out of retirement to assist in my birth. She is certified in water birth and home births, which were originally part of my birth plan that Yui clinic strived to make a possibility. The end result was a plan to have a water birth at Yui clinic.

The birthing room was a small room with a side bathroom that had a tub. The main room had beautiful light brown wood from floor to ceiling. A single person mattress with pillows and a bean­bag type chair. Dimly lit. On small rolling carts were medical computers and accessories. This room was very cozy and relaxing.

After the greetings and getting settled, Nakanishi had me lay down on the mattress while she hooked up a heart­rate monitor for Baby and another monitor to track my surges. Nakanishi determined that my surges were 2 minutes apart; however, for me, it felt as though I had a lot of time between each surge. It felt like 7­8 minutes apart for me. I listened to the Rainbow Relaxation CD, part of the Hypnobirthing technique, and focused on relaxing all my muscles and tried to fall asleep. I was able to fully relax between each surge.

Nakanishi did a cervical check to see how far I had dilated. She said I was 7 cm dilated and that it was good I came to the clinic. I was surprised! I estimated myself at around 3cm. Amanda, my Doula, arrived shortly after and then everybody left the room while I relaxed with Alex. I had two more surges and felt a gush of water releasing. Alex requested a towel and Nakanishi checked my progress. She said that my membranes had released. She then started to fill the tub to prepare for my water birth.

Once filled I went into the water. All the lights were turned off in the bathroom with a single light on in the birth room. It was very calming. I stepped into the tub, and was submerged with water up to my breasts. The warm water was very soothing. It allowed all my muscles to relax. According to my judgment the surges came in the same pattern of every 7­8 minutes. I was happy about that but also thought that I might be in the tub for a few hours.

To my surprise, being in the water did not seem to ease the strength of the surges as I had hoped. However, it still felt good to move around and change positions in the buoyancy of the water. Amanda came in and offered a cold washcloth for my head. She also asked about the strength of my surges compared to outside the tub. She asked because Nakanishi and the other midwife, Mineta, were wondering if my surges had slowed down since I was so quiet.

Alex, has been with me the whole time for comfort and support. He always finds a way to release stress and get everyone to laugh. While I was in the tub, I couldn’t help but release some gas; Alex made a point of letting everyone know how bad it smelled. We all laughed which was good.

The surges started to come in stronger and a bit closer together. I started to feel too hot from the water. I felt totally loose and limb, which is good and wanted for a gentle birth. However I wanted more physical support which I couldn’t get in the water. As I was assisted out of the tub, while standing, I had another surge. Alex was there so he held me up while I breathed through the surge.

Nakanishi wanted to check baby’s heart rate with a Doppler while I was standing. However, standing was too uncomfortable. Therefore, I continued to the main room and sat on the mattress. Nakanishi tried one more time with the Doppler but I had a surge and to ease the pain I used the spiral movement technique. That made it hard for Nakanishi so she stopped trying. I was grateful that she didn’t request that I sit still.

Upon examination, Nakanishi determined that I was fully dilated and could see baby’s head. Amanda asked if I felt like pushing and I nodded yes. She reminded me to follow my body’s lead and to relax my shoulders. “Don’t fight it, just let it happen”, Amanda said. I still wasn’t in a supported birthing position and I wasn’t able to communicate it at this point in labor. Amanda seemed to know what I was thinking and suggested to Alex sitting behind me. That worked great! I could relax my upper body.

Birthing became more intense. I had 3 or 4 intense surges. I determined to let my body take the lead and as the pain came to not tense up or fight it. My eyes were closed, I felt the beads of sweat running down my face. Amanda and Alex whispered words of encouragement to me. Amanda told me how my body was opening up and that I should envision a flower opening up. During the next surge I felt a strong burning sensation, as if my skin was ripping apart. I started to close my legs to reduce the pain. Amanda reminded me to open my legs and focus on birth breathing. I listened and baby’s head came out. As the surge dissipated I caught my breath just in time for the next surge. The burning sensation was even stronger once again I started to close my legs and Amanda reminded me again to keep them open. She said, “This is it, this is the last one, baby will be out and all will be over.” I opened up, giving into the burn and moments later my daughter was born!

At 9:33PM, Friday, June 3, 2016 Olivia Anastasia LaBrooy came into this world. Only 1.5 hours after Iarrived at Yui Clinic. She measured 52cm and weighed 3960 g. It was a great experience.

I was determined, from the very beginning, of having an unmedicated and gentle birthing experience. Everyone in the delivery room was hand picked and part of my support system, each doing their best to encourage and give me the birthing experience I envisioned for me and my baby.
Now I KNOW God did not make a mistake, dooming us to suffer during childbirth when all the animals don’t seem to be in distress it is us deciding our own fate. Giving birth doesn’t have to be a medical event. It is not an illness. If we relax and let our body do the work labor is more effective, therefore shorter and excruciating pain doesn’t have to be part of it.

It was a completely natural birth. This experience has redeemed myself from the previous two experiences at hospitals which left me feeling defeated and disappointed. This time I feel empowered and ecstatic!

Thank you God, thank you Friends and Family, thank you Alex, Amanda, Nakanishi, Mineta, and Lynn. Thank you, Mary Mongan (founder of Hypnobirthing) for believing in gentle, natural birth at a time when no one else around you did. Thank you to the Naha Unification Church for your prayers.

Julika LaBrooy