With a passion for empowering military spouses and a career that can follow you from one duty station to another, my initiative provides not only valuable skills but also a sense of purpose and community by offering a transformative opportunity through labor doula trainings.
I had one LONG and INTENSE contraction the whole time I was up and quickly went to go lay back down. I was feeling pretty sick and started to wonder if I wasn't going into the transition phase as I remembered feeling that way with Hayes. But I thought that surely it couldn't be the case as my contractions were still so inconsistent and not quite 2-3 minutes apart. I was definitely starting to lose control of my emotions. Nate was airing up the birth pool and I was feeling pretty concerned about everything that was happening. Just as I was having another contraction, my sister stepped in the door. I felt my water break, which I immediately told her, and I felt the baby’s head drop.
For as long as I've lived in Okinawa I should be fluent in Japanese now. Sadly, I am not. Over the years I've learned to understand and pick up on what most conversations are about. But don't ask me to speak it back. So far I have been able to maintain with my version of "Janglish", a terrible combination of broken English mixed with small phrases in Japanese.
On Thursday at work before HypnoBirthing class, I was pretty sure I lost some of my mucus plug and was experiencing light cramping. I had an ob appointment scheduled for the next day so I decided to wait and ask them unless things got worse.
On Friday, I told my midwife what happened and she asked if I’d like my cervix to be checked. She said it wasn’t necessary but if I was curious then I could know. I did want to know just to see if I should possibly be prepared for labor sooner than later. Sure enough I was 2-3 cm dilated and 50% effaced, but she said this could mean I’m having a baby in a few days or a few weeks. She said I didn’t have to come to the hospital until I couldn’t talk through a surge.
On Saturday and Sunday I was still experiencing some mucus like discharge but no real changes in terms of surges or pain. But then when I went to bed on Sunday night, I woke up a few hours later at midnight having surges (felt like back cramps) . They weren’t super strong and there wasn’t a clear pattern to how far apart they were, so I practiced my breathing we learned in the class and even listened to the script from the last class again. This really helped and I was able to get some extra sleep (on and off).
By 4 am they were getting stronger, so I took a shower to help and to get ready for the hospital. After my shower I woke up Jimmy around 445 and said he should probably get ready to go. We didn’t rush out the door, just took our time, and I think my water may have broken around 530. I went to the bathroom and it looked like my bloody show and lots of watery discharge.
We were on our way to the hospital by 6am and got checked in by 630. At this point admittedly, my HypnoBirthing practice went out the window a little bit. I had told Jimmy I was open to an epidural when we got to the hospital to help the pain and my breathing was not great.
When we went into triage my midwife checked me and I was at 8 cm. She told me we probably didn’t have time for an epidural and sure enough we didn’t. We got moved to a room shortly after and I could feel the pressure to push already. My midwife instructed me on what to do (I will say my mind was resisting the instruction to push when my body wasn’t telling me to at certain points but most of the time it was naturally coming with the surges anyway) but I powered through and with 3-4 pushes our baby was born!
I give all the credit to what Amanda taught us that allowed me to labor at home for so long, making my labor and delivery very short at the hospital. So thank you Amanda, and cheers to hypnobirthing! I wish you all the best with your upcoming deliveries. You got this mamas!
This year went by so fast. I can honestly say I feel like I blinked and here we are. January 1st, 2022.
There were a lot of very big changes for my family in 2021. We were barely coming out of 2020 and recovering from what seemed like a rollercoaster ride after my husband lost is step mom and the beginning fo 2020 and within a few short months, he unexpectedly lost his only brother. We kind of floated through the remainder of 2020. Keeping our lives a bit on the quiet side after my husband underwent a pretty big surgery in the fall of 2020.
Enter 2021.
We knew the first of the year would be a little slower and gave us a little breathing room as we knew once the end of spring came around it was time to jump on the freight train and hold on tight.
Our oldest daughter got engaged at the beginning of the 2021. We had a feeling it was coming. But I’m not sure if a parents heart is ever quite ready for trusting a young man with your daughter. It took my husband a little longer to accept the fact his daughter was growing up. I knew she was and ready to start watching her blossom into her womanhood. I am very proud of the young woman she is becoming.
My son graduated from high school and left for college in the fall. I am so very proud of him. He has really blossomed and is becoming such a respectable and honorable young man. I want to tell my clients to snuggle their little ones as long as they can, because time truly does go by quickly. I do miss him a lot. He will always be my little boy even though he towers over me by at least two inches. AND I AM 6’2”!
From that point it was non stop. Probably some of the biggest milestones of our lives happened just within a month of each other. My husband hung up is uniform and retired from the USMC after serving 29 years. This has been a huge transition for us. I have spent 23 years of my life traveling the world with him. It’s the only life our kids have ever known. And I probably wouldn’t be where I am at today as a doula and childbirth educator had the military of not provided opportunities to experience different duty stations and living overseas for the majority of our time in the military. We knew it was a long time coming and it was time to move onto the next season of our life.
Remember our daughter getting engaged earlier in the year? I forgot to mention they set their date for Nov 2021.
So not only did we have a retirement to prep for, a wedding was on the schedule.
I see why people hire a wedding planner. We didn’t. We should have. We will know better for next time. But I am ok if that is NOT for awhile.
On Nov 13th, 2021, we celebrated the union of our daughter and her new husband. It was a whirlwind and I feel like we are still trying to come down from it all.
Of course, in true doula fashion, I had a client on the books and she delivered a beautiful baby boy just a few days after the wedding.
Photo Credit to Jason & Kate Photography, LLC.
To say the least Christmas was pretty low key this year and we tried our best to just relax. Until we all got sick the day after Christmas. But thank goodness we are on the mend and finally feeling better.
I am now just taking the time to reconvene and start envisioning what 2022 is going to look like. By nature I am a planner, I like things in order with some structure and a plan. It has been a very big adjustment letting go of some of those things. More so on the business side this past year. I did have quite a few births throughout 2021 and there were some that really took every skill I had as a doula to support these parents as they had to fight for their birth. There were times I didn’t feel like I met everyone’s needs because of everything we had going on. I am truly thankful for the wonderful families I did get to serve. And that they were very understanding of the shifts and adjustments we were going through as a family.
I do have some apprehensions as to what is to come in 2022. Things have just not quite been the same since covid. But I will keep pressing on and lean on God as we navigate the road ahead.
Our birth was beautiful, wild and unexpected but we would not have been able to peacefully surrender to it had we not worked with you both. We will forever be thankful for you women!
At 33 weeks I started experiencing surges that began to progress throughout the week. One evening the surges became more intense than usual and we decided to start timing them. When we realized they were 2 minutes apart for over an hour we decided to go to the hospital to be seen. My OB diagnosed me with gestational hypertension and confirmed that I was in prodromal labor. Due to the diagnosis our OB requires a mandatory induction at 37 weeks and bed rest up until then. We left the hospital with an induction date set for 27 April.
Initially I was upset and felt very defeated. I felt that my body had failed me despite how much mental/physical work I was doing to prepare for birth. My heart wanted a natural birth but my body was trying to tell me it had other plans. I took the rest of that weekend to allow myself to feel all the emotions. My husband and I agreed that although it wasn’t the birth we had planned, we still would be able to lean into the Hypnobirthing methods.
Leading up to the induction date I would listen to the recorded scripts twice a day and would spend time each day picturing a positive birth scenario with our new circumstances. When the induction day came my husband took me to the beach (my place of peace) and we listened to our Hypnobirthing and Christian Hypnobirthing scripts on repeat. The Hypnobirthing method not only helped us prepare for birth but it strengthened our relationship.
Day 1:
We checked into the hospital at 1030 PM still with a plan to go as natural as we could but also ready to accept change. I received my initial cervix check at 1130 by a resident OB and was told I was 3cm and that they would not be introducing any induction methods that night to see if my labor would progress. 4 hours later I received another check and was told I was at 4cm and was offered a membrane sweep (this was painless so I became skeptical) and I accepted. Up to this point I was still having irregular surges but was comfortable.
Day 2:
At the 8am shift change I received my third check and unfortunately was told I was 0cm and the resident must have been mistaken from the other night. Instead of a fearful or angry reaction to the news my husband and I were able to calmly make a choice in how we wanted to proceed with induction.
We decided to begin with Cytotec which was given to me orally with increasing doses every 4 hours to help ripen my cervix. The first dose I was met with intense surges that came every minute for 4 hours. I spent that time listening to the scripts or worship on my birthing ball and getting up at the top of every hour to take a lap around the hospital room. The second dose the surges seemed to let up but I was experiencing severe nausea and vomiting that did not let up until I was off the Cytotec. We proceeded with the Cytotec for 4 doses before moving to the next induction method. At the end of the 4th dose I was at 4cm and received a true membrane sweep. (Totally felt that one!)
Prior to starting our induction our doctors and us agreed that mechanical manipulation of my cervix was completely off the table. I had been fearful of this method and knew in my heart I would need more assistance with the pain than I was ready for. However we knew after the Cytotec that most likely the use of a balloon to ripen my cervix would be the next step. Our doctors kindly let us have a 4 hour break after the Cytotec to 1. See if my body wanted to continue ripening on its own and 2. Let us rest up. At the end of the 4 hour break my cervix had not changed and we agreed to begin the mechanical ripening.
At this moment is where I truly felt my Hypnobirthing experience beginning and felt God truly working along side us. Without either of those I do not believe I would have had the ability to peacefully surrender to what my birth journey was going to be. After the ballon was inserted the nurse would come in every 30 minutes and rotate the ballon 10 times (5 each way) until the ballon fell out on its own. Our nurses did this a total of 5 times until the ballon fell out and I was 6cm.
After that procedure my surges became more frequent and stronger so again the nurses decided to see if my body could continue on its own for a few more hours. At 10 PM I was at 7.5 cm and my nurses offered to break my water. After talking it over with my husband we agreed to have my water broken but had also decided it was time to get an epidural. At 11pm I was given an epidural and shortly after the nurse broke my water although it was just a small trickle.
Day 3:
At 4am I received another cervix check and during that time I had a massive gush of fluid which is just what my body needed. At 8 am I was at 8.5cm and the nurses decided to start me on Pitocin. At this point I began to develop a high grade fever from my water being broken for so long so they started me on additional medication. Every hour until it was time to push my husband and nurses would help rotate me from side to side while utilizing the peanut ball. I reached 10cm at 11 am and began pushing. Our sweet Lola Jean was born at 12:43am on April 30th at 7lbs 7oz 20.28 in. She spent 2 days in the nicu for fluid in her lungs and was a fighter from the very start.
Although my birth was not what we had originally planned, we would not have had such a positive experience in a unknown environment had we not worked with our doula using Hypnobirthing methods.
Things that really helped me:
Recorded scripts
Christian Hypnobirthing app
Worship music
Birthing ball/peanut ball
Aroma therapy
The MOST supportive partner
The MOST amazing doula team
Overall, the delivery was perfect. The hospital didn’t pressure us in any way. John was able to communicate all preferences to the doctors/nurses all while applying counter pressure and doing massages and giving me all of the positive affirmations (he might have joked his way through class but when it was go time he was ON IT, you would have been proud!), i was able to breathe through contractions and go within myself to birth our daughter the way we wanted and the way God intended.
By nature I am a planner. I tend to lean towards a Type A personality. Although, over the years, doula work has certainly taught me to find the balance in life and there are certainly things that happen beyond my control. Since moving to North Carolina, we have been in what I feel like a constant season of change. And yes, it has been difficult at times to reign it in. Especially when we come to a point where answers lack and uncertainty looms overhead. In the past 2 years Hurricane Florence devastated and displaced many families in our area and left kids out of school for months to my oldest daughter experiencing a life changing car accident. Addingto the unknowns, my husband dropped retirement papers after 28 years of serving in the Marine Corps. Only to watch the years in the military catch up and physical ailments set in. We are currently awaiting a back surgery that will alleviate a lot of pain he has experienced over the past year. I also made a big decision to homeschool my youngest daughter. I am very thankful I did, given the current world situation. Even in the midst of not having many answers, I do my best to let God show me how to bring balance to our home and try to provide some solutions to problems we face.
Which leads me to sharing a few of these solutions about this time many are finding themselves in and making the best out of a difficult situation.
With many places running out of supplies like toilet paper and wipes. We might have to get creative by making our own products and being intentional with the time we have at home. I hope some of these ideas inspire you to research more about what you can do to improvise when we are without.
Homemade Baby Wipes.
I love Pinterest. There are so many options to explore. I found this this recipe from Swaddles n’ Bottles that may be helpful for you. It does call for paper towels, however, if there is a paper towel shortage, I would explore other options such as buying cheap wash cloths. It may make for a lot of extra laundry. But if it comes to it, I would make it work.
Homemade Baby Food.
When my kids were little, this is one thing I did do consistently. I loved knowing exactly what was going into their food. It was simple and actually really easy. Now this was before Pinterest and even Amazon. I used a recipe book gifted to me and a simple food puree maker. Today, there are so many options. It’s almost overwhelming. So I will leave it to you to find what one works best. If you find yourself running short on baby food, look into purchasing some fresh produce and starting there.
Here is a good website to start with. How to Make Homemade Baby Food: 27 Tips, Hacks, and Recipes
Homemade Sanitizers.
When the stores are running out of Lysol and other sanitation products, I may find myself making my own. I found a bunch of awesome recipes online at Wellness Mama.
Keeping our Sanity
For those with school aged kids or even in childcare, we may find this time home with the kids out of our normal routine. Keeping the kids engaged and entertained can sometimes feel overwhelming and stressful. They are probably experiencing some of the stress of change too. Which is never easy. Start off your day with a nice walk or some exercise. Go outside and enjoy the weather if it’s nice. If the kids are old enough, have a talk with them about some of the things going on and how everyone needs to work together and help around the house. Give them little chores to do and encourage them to not argue with one another.
Have quiet time. Even though my kids are older, I find quiet time can still be just as important. If it’s drawing, reading a book or resting, I believe it’s important to have some down time during the day. I think they call it being bored. At least that’s what my kids tell me know.
Keep a good bedtime routine for the kids. For me personally, I need that hour to come down from the day and invest in myself. Whether it’s reading, catching up on some work, or watching a television show.
Mom’s check in with your friends and family. We might not be able to hold playgroups for the time being, but having some adult interaction can help us all. Your spouse may need to make some adjustments too and understand that they may need to be the one to listen.
Overall
I hope some of these suggestions can be useful during this time of our lives. While my plans have been changing more often these days, I find that I can have some control of how my home functions on a day to day basis and that my kids feed off of my stress. I can be creative and find ways to think outside the box. I don’t know what tomorrow brings but I am walking by faith as we move forward.
Keeping everyone in my prayers!
The links in this blog are NOT affiliate links. They are my personal, researched recommendations.
Before getting pregnant I was set on having an epidural when I one day had a baby. But once I found out we were expecting I began researching more and more. I decided that I wanted a natural birth. We found Amanda and took her HypnoBirthing class. It gave my husband and I so much information about labor and the events that took place after. We both felt so confident about our decisions after finishing the classes.
Oh sweet baby – how will you come into the world to meet us? I have always be so interested in parenting, and not so interested in birthing. Birth is one day and parenting is years and years. But, I am so very thankful for the birth I was able to have. I sat at the OBGYN yesterday for my 6 week checkup and wanted to say to the all of the pregnant ladies “you know – you can have a wonderful birth” but I didn’t say anything – maybe next time I will.
Let me start off by saying that I have two BEAUTIFUL, healthy children that I was blessed to give birth naturally to. I know natural birthing is quite a controversial subject these days. Between the many statistics, opinions (medical and otherwise,) pressure from friends and family, and those who insist that not giving birth naturally is nothing to be ashamed of, it can be quite confusing when deciding which course to take. While I do my best to never judge another mother’s choices, I do know that certain decisions and actions can contribute to a healthier and more enjoyable birth (Yup, that’s right. Enjoyable.) I’d like to share some of my experiences and maybe a few comparisons between both of my birth stories.......
When I found out I was pregnant with my fourth and last child, I knew I wanted this labor and delivery to be different than my previous 3. I felt drawn to a natural birth, and, surprisingly, chatted with many friends who had a natural birth and told me they would do it all over again. That made me curious. Something in me told me I could do this.
During our second trimester your poppa had to leave for about six weeks on an exercise to the Philippines, so it was just you, me and the dogs hanging out at home. After poppa returned, you and I made your first trip across the ocean to go back to Texas to visit friends and family. It was while I was home that we received some really bad news that your poppa had been assigned to a special unit that would be a back up for deployment to Afghanistan. Part of the training would take place in California right during the time we were expecting you to be born. We were so sad that he might miss your arrival.
I had one LONG and INTENSE contraction the whole time I was up and quickly went to go lay back down. I was feeling pretty sick and started to wonder if I wasn't going into the transition phase as I remembered feeling that way with Hayes. But I thought that surely it couldn't be the case as my contractions were still so inconsistent and not quite 2-3 minutes apart. I was definitely starting to lose control of my emotions. Nate was airing up the birth pool and I was feeling pretty concerned about everything that was happening. Just as I was having another contraction, my sister stepped in the door. I felt my water break, which I immediately told her, and I felt the baby’s head drop.
For a couple of weeks before giving birth I had practice contractions throughout the day, every day. Side note, as part of my hypnobirthing training I will be calling several birthing terms by different names such as ‘contractions’ are ‘surges and ‘bloody show’ is ‘birthing show’. These terms were all used to keep my mind positive.
I woke up just after 1:30 am on August 29, 2015, one day before my “due date”. This had become my average wake up time to use the bathroom and nurse Brendan back to sleep. I went to the restroom and when I stood up, I discovered my mucous plug in the toilet. This was my first true sign of labor starting. I had been having some warm ups the past week, but they weren’t frequent or strong.
For as long as I've lived in Okinawa I should be fluent in Japanese now. Sadly, I am not. Over the years I've learned to understand and pick up on what most conversations are about. But don't ask me to speak it back. So far I have been able to maintain with my version of "Janglish", a terrible combination of broken English mixed with small phrases in Japanese.
