Favor's Birth Story

I started to tackle my birth plan about a month out.  Living in Japan I knew my options were limited, a birth center etc. wasn’t really feasible with the amount of paperwork and translation necessary for citizenship, same with a home birth, so the hospital was about it.  But even with a hospital birth – I learned just how much control you can have if you are informed, turns out – knowing really is half the battle. 

Our decision to hire a doula is where the path split – to the one less travelled by Westerners today, but more travelled by women throughout history – the path that lets your body lead and says “body – you are amazing – do your thing” instead of“oh, how I fear you.”

Our doula, Amanda, this beautiful calm presence came into our life and introduced me to hypnobirthing; a surrender to and acceptance of the natural process of birth.   For me hypnobirthing was not about hypnosis, but about letting go of fear, embracing what the body is designed to do, and connecting with God and letting Jesus’ strength in my weakness be made manifest in this miracle experience. 

As Amanda taught me about birth, two powerful images stuck out to me, one - that if you can relax, and remove fear, your body will produce oxytocin and help you with your pain and two – a story of a woman who gave birth while in a coma – her body knew what to do, and since she wasn’t conscious to fight it – it was free to birth, this was powerful to me.  I learned about general hospital interventions, what is done, when and why, and I could see just where that train derailed … very very early – and very very easily if you aren’t aware and committed to keeping it on track.  As people inevitably told me their horrible birth stories, time and time again I could see when the track was switched over, being aware was so important.

Amazingly - I went into labor on my due date, I spent the morning grocery shopping in a packed grocery store before Thanksgiving, went to the park at 3pm where my water broke (which I was convinced I had lost control of my bladder and was actually peeing myself) I called Chris at 5 to come home, took a bath, tried to track my contractions and called Amanda at around 7pm.  Contractions were not clear to me, I couldn’t understand what was what, but I had a sense things were progressing.

As I laid on the bed I remember my whole body tensing rigidly, like a hard wave of rigor mortis arching my back and overtaking me – hesitantly I thought it may be time for the hospital. The drive to the hospital was pivotal – I put on my relaxation CD and this is where I began to feel how to birth.  If I could relax, if I could let my hips sink down instead of rise up – I could sit through the contraction without my body tensing so hard – it was possible.  Chris thought I didn’t have a single contraction while driving and that we would be sent home when we arrived, but on that drive I found how to let them roll over me, instead of through me.  My mind was repeating “oxytocin, coma, Your strength Lord” over and over, it took all of my concentration, and was laborious in its own way, but was a world away from that rigid body tension I had felt before.  We arrived at the hospital and I walked to the delivery ward with a pacific Amanda holding my hand while Chris parked the car.  It probably took me 20 minutes to go the few floors, stopping every minute or so to let that contraction roll over me, swaying, holding on the wall and swaying some more.  We arrived at triage, still swaying, with water pouring out of me, apologizing as I was convinced I was peeing all over the floor.  And so I swayed, waiting and waiting for a woman with a UTI to be seen, my silent demeanor my not have been to my advantage at that point.  When the nurse finally came over, to her surprise, and maybe all of ours, I was 6cm dilated; oh – to a room you go!

We checked into the room at 9:20pm –Chris held my hand as I laid on my side, eyes closed, in my black splendid stretchy dress I bought at a BlueBee sale years before, never knowing it would be a cozy partner on this special day.  Again my mind repeated “oxytocin, coma, Lord Your strength” until I was overwhelmed with the urge to push – and I thought this was wrong – I thought I had let a contraction come over me like on the bed at home and that I could no longer relax and resist it, but Amanda said it was OK, and with minutes to spare the doctor was called in.  Once I had the OK to push, I pushed with all my might, and in 4 or 5 pushes – a little Favor Anne made her way on out, at 10:20pm, 1 hour after being admitted. Thank you Lord, and hello little squishy baby-like being.  Chris and I were shocked, it was so fast – and then there were three. 

I never experienced the ring of fire, or got close to ever wanting medication, when I was pushing I felt the ripping and kept saying “oww, owww, owww” but that was the worst of it, and then getting stitched back up – I felt all of that.  Immediately after she was born the nurse asked if I wanted Pitocin to birth the placenta, but with my insistence she let me try on my own, which took only a few minutes – I think.  I’m not really sure – it was a bit of crazy shock – the moment that your family changes forever and you meet this little person who will be such a huge part of your life – who knows what else is happening.  We just laughed, it was so fast, and here I had birthed what appeared to be our baby J She laid on my chest, all white and squishy, welcome to our family little one - let’s just stare at each other for awhile.

I had become convinced early on that I wanted to try to go natural because I thought that the birth would be more painful, but the recovery would be easier.  After my education in birthing and my experience, I am convinced both were easier.  I believe my God made the body and made it to make and birth other bodies, capable of amazing things. 2 Tim 1:7, For God did not give us a spirit of timidity but a spirit of power.

Rachel's Birth Story

My husband and I had been in Okinawa for only a few months before I found out I was expecting. Back in the states, I gave birth to my son at home and had the privilege of having an AMAZING midwifery team, so naturally I was looking for a similar experience with my second here. I was so disappointed to find out that there weren’t any American midwives and that I would need a translator for the single Japanese midwife on island who services Americans. I wasn’t completely comfortable with that, (not to mention, it would be a bit of a strain financially,) so I decided to look into other options.

Pretty early on in my pregnancy, a friend mentioned that they had seen a car decal for something called

Oceanside HypnoBirthing and Doula Services. I had already been seen at the Kadena clinic and was considering giving birth at Foster with a doula since the possibility of birthing at home seemed to be severely limited. I contacted Amanda Dodson and she ended up being the best thing that happened to me during my pregnancy! Her support (before and AFTER birth,) encouragement, and genuine desire to see a mother empowered by childbirth was a fundamental part to my wonderful birth experience. She helped me look into different local options (Yui clinic,) and supported me when my husband and I decided (after much prayer) to give birth at the new Foster hospital. Most importantly, she helped reaffirm my suspicion that childbirth could be an enjoyable event.

Let me give a little background. I had a relatively short labor with my oldest (9 hours) but very painful. My contractions came right on top of each other, and though I had the support of my wonderful husband and previous doula, I was completely unprepared mentally. My water had broken over 24 hours before active labor started, and I was having prelabor contractions for almost as long. I was timing them at 5 minutes apart, and being a first time mom, thought I was in labor. My midwife and doula arrived to find an anxious mommy who clearly was not in active labor. They made my husband and I breakfast, checked me (I was barely at a 2,) and told us to rest up because the baby might not be coming for a while. Shortly after they left however, I went into active labor. I remember crying in the shower because I didn’t think there was any way I would be able to handle real labor if it was already so painful. I was completely discouraged from the get go and even after my husband called them to ask them to come over, I didn’t realize that I was actually in labor! For me, the checks in the beginning were discouraging as well, and as I neared the transition, I felt so out of control of my body that I began to panic. Thankfully, the urge to push came quickly and I was encouraged to push in whatever position was most comfortable. For the first time since my labor began, I felt strong. After my beautiful boy was born, the midwifery team weighed and checked him out, cleaned up, cooked us some dinner, told us goodnight and that they’d be back in the morning. I didn’t realize how wonderful this was until I gave birth in a hospital setting! But I’m getting ahead of myself...

In any case, this time around, I knew that I wanted to not only give birth naturally, but work with my body rather than feeling powerless. So first, I asked to be seen by a midwife for my prenatal appointments. I was scheduled to be seen by a midwife (which ended up being a total blessing.) I was very upfront about what I wanted from the first appointment and she essentially told me that I had the right to birth how I wanted to, and that if I wanted an all-natural birth with no interventions, then I could do it. So, I wrote up a birth plan and asked her to show it to all the OBGYN and midwife staff so nobody would be surprised when I arrived. I also began to prepare myself mentally and emotionally. Amanda gave me a list of positive birth affirmations as well as a list of bible verses confirming the strength God gives us to do what He created our bodies to do. I spent a little bit of time each day reading over these verses and affirmations, reminding myself that childbirth does not have to be a fearful experience. I bought myself a special birthing gown and a candle with a calming scent, body butter for massage during labor, and had a playlist of worship music that I had listened to during my daily quiet time. I also spent a lot of time in prayer, asking for the Lord’s strength and His peace when the time came to bring my little girl into the world.

Several days after my due date, a Saturday, I started having prelabor contractions. I tried not to get my hopes up because I hadn’t had any sign that my water would break anytime soon. Not to mention, I had a prenatal massage scheduled for the next day and I really wanted the baby to wait for that! Anyway, on Sunday, the contractions became more frequent and at 6 pm I had the first sign that my water would break soon (you moms know what I mean) an HOUR before my massage. I decided to go anyway. Those poor Japanese women when they found out I was contracting through the whole thing! My water broke on my way out (thankfully not enough to get everywhere) and when I got home my hubby and I put our son in bed and sat down to watch some tv. At about 9 pm, I started having active labor contractions. We put on the music, turned off the tv and the lights, and lit a candle. I found leaning over my birthing ball helped tremendously with contractions and my husband put counter pressure on my back as well. I focused on the music and breathed deeply; working with my body each time a contraction came. I was completely at peace, a HUGE difference from the labor I had with my son. When the contractions started to intensify, I had my husband call Amanda and she arrived sometime after 10 pm. She encouraged me to drink water, put pressure on my back when I needed it, and did some light touch massage. Her presence was extremely calming, and we found ourselves laughing and joking during labor (something I had heard of other women doing, but couldn’t imagine after my first birth experience.) Around 11:30, my contractions picked up and became very intense. We decided to call a friend to pick up our son so we could get ready to head to the hospital. I could tell I was transitioning, and was starting to feel some pressure at the end of each contraction. It seemed that bending over something was the most comfortable position, so I ended up leaning over the backseat of our car with Amanda beside me still applying counter pressure to my lower back. We got to Foster in probably 7 minutes (My husband FLEW down 58!) and I walked through a contraction to get inside the hospital. We headed up to labor and delivery, and by the time we got there the contractions were coming strong and hard every minute or so. I told the charge nurse I was going to need to push soon so I needed a room. She insisted that we had to check into Triage and was not happy when I declined having any type of blood work or IV. She responded with, “Well, this IS a hospital.” I told her that it was on my birth plan and I would sign a waiver if I needed to. She left the room and I continued to work through the contractions, though I was

a bit more stressed out at this point than I had been before. When she came back in, she wanted me to lie on my back to do a check. I told her no because I really didn’t see the need for it. I was obviously in full blown labor and I was feeling a lot of pressure at the end of each contraction. She seemed baffled and left the room again. After some time passed and my contractions became stronger, Amanda brought up the point that doing one check might get me into a room more quickly and eliminate the risk of giving birth right there in Triage. I agreed to do one check but asked the nurse not to tell me how far along I was. (I knew that if I was at a number that wasn’t as far along as I thought I should be, I would become discouraged and labor could slow down.) Thankfully, she just said that they were going to admit me to a room though it wasn’t time to push yet. When we got to the room, I assumed my leaning over the bed position, trying to breathe through contractions. At this point a male OBGYN entered and told me that he had looked over my birth plan and everything was agreeable except for the fact that he was a man (I had asked for a midwife or female OBGYN and absolutely no males in the room besides my husband until after the baby was born.) Apparently there were no other females on duty and my midwife was on a trip to Tokyo. I knew the baby would be there soon, so I told him it was fine. He began to explain why he wanted to put in a heplock (with no running fluid) in case of emergency. I told him that it was in my birth plan not to have one, and again that I would sign any paperwork I needed to. (Also, in case you’re wondering, the reason I declined the IV is simply because I have given birth before without one, and I get very anxious over needles. I knew having one would be unneeded and would just stress me out, which is something I definitely wanted to avoid.) Well, anyway, he didn’t seem very pleased by this and left the delivery room. Not long after, I started feeling the urge to push (I must have only been in the delivery room 10 minutes.) The charge nurse looked over at me and exclaimed, “Are you pushing?! Honey, if you’re pushing you need to tell me!” I responded with, “I’M PUSHING!” Someone darted off to get the OBGYN and the nurses told me it was time to turn around and lie on my back. I told them no, and continued pushing. I became vaguely aware that there were two male corpsmen in the room as I delivered leaning over the back of the bed. (I found out later that the OBGYN had never delivered in the position, and I’m assuming this is why I “needed” to turn over.) In any case, Nicolette Raene came into the world perfectly healthy at 8 lb. 4 oz. with no complications or even a tear. To their credit, the staff at Foster Naval hospital followed most of my birth plan and allowed me to do skin to skin for an hour afterward. They didn’t hassle me about declining vaccines, eye drops, or the vitamin K shot (though I was told they didn’t have the oral supplements as an alternative, which was untrue. She was given Vitamin K orally after she was seen by the pediatrician.) However, one of the major wishes they violated was allowing the corpsmen into the room. There honestly was no reason for them to be there as I delivered because I was doing skin to skin for an hour afterward, and they were only there to wash and weigh my daughter. Amanda even reminded the charge nurse that I had asked for no males in the room, but her comment was brushed off with, “Well, someone needs to be here for the baby too.” I don’t believe that nurse will ever realize how much she violated me with that rash decision. Not only did she take away my right to decide who was present at MY birth, but she also allowed other men to see me exposed, something that is exclusively shared between my husband and myself. I know it may not be a big deal for some women, but I’m tired of a mother being told to suck it up and get over feeling embarrassed by having strange men see her at the most vulnerable time of her life.

Anyway, the stay afterwards was unfortunately not all that great either. The rooms and meals were nice, but co-sleeping was not allowed and sleep in general was limited with how often the staff came in to do vitals on both myself and my daughter. (Oh, and the water in the shower didn’t get warm! How bizarre, right? I was freezing and shivering when I went to wash off after birth.) Also, they really like to violently poke their hands into your stomach periodically so that you “heal” faster. Ugh. Anyway, though I am thankful that my daughter was healthy and that I was not forced to do anything against my will, I have concluded that I will never give birth in a place where protocol trumps a mother’s rights and emotional wellbeing.

All in all though, my labor was wonderful, and whether you’re birthing at home or in a hospital, you really can be empowered by your experience. Nothing compares to looking back and knowing you were strong for your child, that you took charge of the labor process and brought your sweet one into the world.

In the end, I would suggest a few things for expecting mothers. First of all, be well informed. Do your research and stand up for your decisions. Don’t allow yourself to be treated as if you’re stupid or don’t know what you’re doing. Listen to your body! Take the time to prepare yourself mentally and emotionally, and have a support team. (I would highly recommend a doula!) But most of all, never lose faith in your God-given ability to birth a child and in the One who gives you the strength to see it through to the end.

Rachel

The Birth of Loralai Elaine

The week before I had Loralai, I started trying to do a few things that might induce labor. My sister had arrived from North Carolina and I wanted to make sure she would be able to be my doula birth before she had to head back! I went and got an adjustment from my chiropractor to make sure baby would be able to settle into the best position for birth. She flipped back and forth ALOT the last week and couldn't seem to decide on whether she wanted to be LOA or ROA. I did a lot of exercises from the Spinning Babies website as well. I also went back to chiropractor and had some acupuncture done to see if that would induce labor, but all it did was make for some slightly more intense Braxton hicks contractions. I walked and walked and walked and ate my eggplant parmesan casserole, but to no avail. I was hoping for baby to come either a day before or a day after the 4th of July but that wasn't in the cards for me.

That whole week, I would wake up around 3 or 4 am with some intense consistent contractions, but they would always fizzle out around 7am. Leaving me disappointed and tired. I can only assume I was experiencing prodromal labor and that was incredibly frustrating! Friday morning those contractions started again. I tried to not get excited when they lasted past 7am.

I woke up and got breakfast for Hayes and I, then we went on a walk. When we got back, they were still happening, but only about 1 every 45 minutes. I tried to rest, bounce on my exercise ball, and distract myself with watching TV. My husband, Nate, got home from work and I was able to take a nap, but not for long as the contractions were starting to pick up. They weren't very strong but they were noticeable enough to keep me from being able to rest well. We ate supper, got Hayes ready for bed and rocked him to sleep. I continued to have contractions. They just weren't consistent whenever I timed them, so I tried to ignore them and rest. It was around 10pm when they were getting stronger and I think I called my sister to let her know they were picking up, but I figured it would be a while before we’d need to notify the midwives.

With my first child, Hayes, everything moved so slowly and I assumed it would be the same. I was waiting for that point when they'd last for a minute, be 3-4 minutes apart for an hour. I would lay on the couch and time them. They'd just be all over the place! No real consistency and vary in intensity.

Nate fell asleep. I'd get up to go to the bathroom. They'd be really hard to breath through and it would be like one long contraction until I laid back down. Then they'd space out again. I woke up Nate and he kind of helped me through them, but apparently I was handling it well enough that no one felt like it was getting close.

I honestly didn't think it was close! I had called my sister again and wasn't sure if she should come over yet. She sounded unsure if she should yet either, but we decided to have her go ahead and come since I was feeling like needing more help with focusing.

I texted Brandi, my midwife, and told her that I had been having contractions since 11pm. Also that they were starting to pick up and lasting about 1 minute, happening every 7-10 minutes and that we'd be calling her in a while. This was at 1:34am. I was starting to get nauseous and got up to go to the kitchen and get some frozen grapes to eat. I had one LONG and INTENSE contraction the whole time I was up and quickly went to go lay back down. I was feeling pretty sick and started to wonder if I wasn't going into the transition phase as I remembered feeling that way with Hayes. But I thought that surely it couldn't be the case as my contractions were still so inconsistent and not quite 2-3 minutes apart. I was definitely starting to lose control of my emotions. Nate was airing up the birth pool and I was feeling pretty concerned about everything that was happening. Just as I was having another contraction, my sister stepped in the door. I felt my water break, which I immediately told her, and I felt the baby’s head drop. I pretty well knew I'd be having a baby soon. My sister sat on the floor by my head, kept me calm and helped me breath. It was such a relief to have her there as her presence was very calming. I finally felt in control again. I told her I felt like pushing and I believe at that time, Nate got on the phone with Brandi, who was headed our way, and told her that. I was trying VERY hard to not push with contractions. But it was getting impossible. My sister told me she might have to look to see if she could see the baby’s head.

It was then that I had another contraction.

My body took over and I pushed.

I stood up and immediately felt the head drop down and out!

Nate and Amanda were on the phone with Brandi while she was talking them through the delivery process. I just remember praying that everything would be okay. That God would protect me and my baby. That baby would be healthy.

My sister stayed very calm and kept me calm. I don't remember feeling scared or anxious. I just knew I had to finish the task. With one last push, Nate caught our baby girl at around 2:45am.

I had no real pain with pushing. I never really felt like we were in danger. I can only assume that the Holy Spirit was very present with us throughout the whole process and He was keeping everyone calm and collected. And obviously kept our baby from any complications that can come from childbirth.

I sat on the floor and held Loralai who was crying and pooping everywhere. I was just in absolute awe of how quickly and easily she came.

Now as all this was happening, Brandi got into a car accident while trying to tell Nate and Amanda how to deliver the placenta. Nate had to call our other midwife, Kathy, who is Brandi’s mother, to tell her what happened but also that we still needed help with the placenta and other things!

Things were getting a little stressful because it seemed like it was taking a little too long for me to deliver the placenta. The midwife had told me to stand up. As I did, the placenta was delivered and fortunately there wasn't too much bleeding afterwards. I was helped into bed where we waited for our midwives to arrive.

We all just sat there. Pretty dumbfounded at the events that had just taken place! My photographer, Jenny Good, had arrived (she showed up shortly after Loralai was delivered) and took pictures. I was a little disappointed she had missed the birth but it was no fault of her own as she didn't get a phone call to come out until I was pretty well pushing!

The midwives finally showed up, checked me and Loralai out and we both were just perfectly healthy. No tearing for me and she was a healthy 8lbs 3oz.

Brandi seemed to be doing fine. As it turned out though, he hurt her foot pretty bad and also had a concussion! I felt so awful for her and her new vehicle also got totaled. I felt almost like I was to blame for her accident. If only I had called her to come out sooner. All of this could have been avoided. But I know that everything happens for a reason and looking back I don't know how the situation could have really been remedied as I really never felt like it was urgent that we call sooner.

Hayes woke up shortly after they got there; I'm still surprised he didn't wake up sooner with all the commotion happening. Nate brought him in to meet Loralai and he seemed pretty unimpressed and mostly just wanted mommy to hold him. I'm sure he was pretty confused with everything happening and probably pretty tired since it was around 4am, but it didn't take long for him to warm up to her later that day. I didn't have any issues getting Loralai to nurse, and the whole healing process was so much better this time around. Hayes’ birth and recovery was just all around difficult, so I felt very blessed to have an easier second time around. Looking back, the birth of Loralai still amazes me. It's crazy what our bodies can do when we just let them take over and not try to intervene. I thank God for His provision over us and over the birth, but hope the next time around we can have our midwives present!

Photo credits: Simply Good Photography by Jenny Good